Heart of emptiness

my story is ,in my opinion, a lonely one. there is always this empty feeling in my heart. every now and then, i feel a deep emptiness in my gut. when it happens i feel like crying at that exact moment, no matter where it is. but i have to be strong and i hold it together. my loneliness is a type that cant be easily cured. even though i have family and a few friends that surround me with what i hope is love, i still feel empty. unloved. sad. all my childhood was filled with was,pain,death,and confusion. this definitely didn't help my pain. i don't date because i have low self esteem, and low confidence. my feeling became worse after my used to be best friend unknowingly broke my heart. i guess this is my punishment for falling in love with my best friend, knowing he didn't feel the same. i am so confused, and still, my heart remains numb and waiting for love that may never be..